mourning

2026-05-31T00:00:00Z

I've loved working with computers since I was a kid and I just got it. I've been asked a few times over the years to explain how I figured out something or discovered what was really happening. I'd just shrug because I just saw the answer without knowing how or why.

Large pieces of my job are gone for good. They're some pieces that I enjoyed most and brought me the most personal satisfaction.

At work I was brought in to quickly understand issues. Reading logs, grepping through code, developing a hunch (or hunches) and figuring out what broke and why. Or to help out a team when there was a tight deadline and we needed something shipped. No corners cut but whatever was needed delivered quickly and well. Building the plan in my head and blasting out code. Now I just a prompt a model who can arguably do it better than me.

I miss it. I loved looking through code bases and being able to just work out what was going on - what linked to what, what could cause this or that. How it all worked. Why it all worked.

What I can offer hasn't fully been replaced but it's changed. I'm now thinking of the relevant context to feed into the model to help it get to the root cause faster. Or build out the framework for a feature. But I'm no longer doing. I don't write the code I fix prefabricated pieces together. I used to feel I had job security because of my skills.

It's become survival. I don't want to be replaced or lose my job when eventually someone decides my salary and contributions are better spent on tokens. So I'm now trying to pivot into learning how to wrangle the AI machine but it feels like a race where I'm just trying to outrun the other people running from the bear. Only to find there's more bears than people and we're all doomed anyway.

I didn't realise how fucking lucky I was (am?) to be well paid to do the things that I love to do. I'm not an AI hater it's legitimately fun to use and there's something satisfying about hitting the jackpot and having it nail whatever you're trying to get it to solve but it's different.

Even if the white-collar job decimation future postulated by the AI crew doesn't come true being paid to do those bits of my job that I loved to do have gone and are never coming back.

Not sure how long it'll take to come to terms with that.

thoughts

mourning